Lost in Translation

A few months ago I was dining in a local Chinese restaurant. It was small, hot, crowded, but the food was delicious. As always, I was the center of attention, being a laowai in a local restaurant. When it came time for me to order, I tried to use my usual broken Chinese. I ordered a glass of water and had been craving Shanghai's famous dumplings, known in China as baozi(bowed-za). These are usually filled with vegetables, and can be found on the sides of the street everywhere you go in Shanghai. Also famous in China are meat filled dumplings, known as jiaozi(gee-owed-za). So in my mind, I wanted baozi, but confusing the similar pronunciations between the two types of dumplings, I asked for biaozi(bee-owed-za). The waitress looked surprised at first, and after I repeated it, started blushing and backing away. I asked a third time and she walked away from the table. When she returned, I realized I wasn't getting anywhere, and with the incorrect pronunciation stuck in my head, I decided I would have to do without dumplings tonight, so I moved on to another dish. After leaving the restaurant, I ran through the scenario and couldn't figure out what I had done to embarrass the waitress. Was I staring too much? I had no idea...

The next day, I ran the situation past my Chinese friend. After telling the story, she burst out laughing. "Adam, do you know what you asked for?" "Biaozi is the Chinese word for a female dog, and its used in a derogatory way." It then dawned on me what the waitress thought I was saying! If you are younger than 18, then DO NOT READ THIS NEXT SENTENCE. Biaozi means....I hope you are not reading this, young cousins of mine.....bitch! Did she think I was calling her that name? I hope not..but I wonder now if my food had a "special" ingredient in it...

Baozi Jiaozi Biaozi