Fundraisers

First of all, to those of you that don't know me that well, or my background, I grew up in a very small, rural area of western Pennsylvania. Greene County is one the poorest areas in the country, but that's only measuring wealth in terms of dollars. We are rich when it comes to a lot of things: trees, blue skies, clean air, cows, open land, game hunters, coal miners, tobacco chewers, trucks, dirty boots, etc. Its a bucolic place, and one that is definitely worth a visit to see in all its natural splendor.

Growing up in such a "country" place, I never realized the uniqueness of some of our traditions. Take for example a typical fundraiser in Greene County. When I played high school football(again, the benefit of such a small area...a guy like me can be a decent football player!) we had a fundraiser for the team. It was called Cow Chip Bingo. Now, for my city dwelling friends or those uninitiated in rural American lexicon, a cow chip is not something you would want to eat. Its not like a potato chip, its an organic object, produced only by cows. We also produce chips, but ours get flushed....I hope you get the picture.

Anyways, for CCB, the football field would get partitioned off into 1000 small squares, each clearly marked with a white powder, so the crowd that would come to watch could sit in the stands and clearly see the football field, which, with the squares, resembled a giant Bingo card or maybe a giant green piece of graphing paper. People lined up at the field and bought tickets representing different squares for $10 a pop, and they would amble up into the stands to find a vantage point for the show that was about to begin.

The show consisted of Farmer ___________(insert name here - Brown is probably most appropriate considering the purpose of his cow) bringing his cow to the center of the field, people cheering, a countdown...5...4...3...2...1....and then people intently watching a cow chew its cud, waiting for the action at the other end of the beast. Two of the three years I attended we had a cow that apparently relished the spotlight, as it took him/her at least 30 minutes to drop the coveted chip on the field. (The other year, the cow was released, and within 30 seconds he was finished...much to the delight of the crowd, as the temperature was well into the 90's). Once the chip was dropped, they would bring out judges(I'm not kidding...) to make sure the chip landed completely in one square (one year there was controversy because the chip landed on the line, but the judges quickly determined that most of the chip landed to the right of the line.)

The square's number was announced, and the person who had purchased that ticket took home 50% of the gate, the other 50% went to the football team. Believe it or not, this fundraiser was a huge success.

Now, I write this as background for what took place this past weekend. There is a young man in our county, a police officer with two young children, who recently found a large tumor growing on the back of his brain. Doctors in the US have little hope, but there is a promising experimental procedure that could be done in China that could remove the tumor and save his life. The only problem is the expenses are exorbitant. The flights to and from China, the surgery itself, the lost pay from his job, etc. His insurance won't cover it, and his family doesn't have that kind of money. That's where the people of my county, the proud, hard-working, caring and compassionate people that I am fortunate to call my neighbors, friends and mentors came in. They organized the newest kind of fundraiser - a motorcycle ride, which ask for a minimum donation of $20 to participate, although most people donated much more, and then proceeds to wind a route through picturesque Greene County. A lot of the men(and women) in my county own a bike, so it shouldn't have surprised me that this bike ride/fundraiser was a huge success. Apparently over $50000 was raised, and it looks like this young man and his young family might have a chance at the impossible. Being away for two years, I started to forget what it was I missed most about America, and Americans. This event reminded me...once again.

Here's the clip of some of the bikes...unofficial count has anywhere between 400 and 500 motorcycles participating. I am standing in front of my high school taking this video, and coincidentally my parents zoom by on their motorcycle early in the clip...you'll hear my "Hey!!!!!" Enjoy....and please, if you feel moved to donate to this cause, write in my comments, and I will pass along the pertinent information.

Chinglish #8

A sign from inside a friend's apartment building's elevator in Shanghai. Enjoy!

The Green Hat

It all began innocuously enough. As I left my apartment to go to school on St. Patrick's Day this year, I suddenly remembered a green hat I owned that would top off my all green outfit. I passed the closet that contained the hat, quickly reached in, grabbed it and threw it on top of my head with little thought. Little did I know that the green hat was about to teach me a lot about Chinese culture.

As the school day went on, I noticed that the Chinese staff at my school were constantly staring at me, smiling, and then going back to work. I was self conscious, and did all the appropriate checks (zipper check, booger check, etc.) but they all came up empty. I then just figured it must be my all green outfit...they weren't used to seeing me dressed so...strangely. Finally, however, the mystery was solved. During the last section of the day, when I had a planning period, one of the Chinese staff, the one I affectionately referred to as my "Chinese Mom", came running into my classroom. She was very concerned:

China Mom: "Adam, you can't wear that hat!"

Me: "Its OK...its a holiday in America, everyone wears green."

China Mom: "Take the hat off!" (She is visibly upset...she reaches for the hat, I pull back.)

Me: "I like the hat. What's wrong with it?"

China Mom: "Everyone(Chinese Staff) is laughing at you. Its bad to wear it."

Me: "Why?"

China Mom: "Who gave it to you?"

Me: "My girlfriend bought it for me."

China Mom: (A look of abject horror on her face) "That's really bad." "Your girlfriend...she is cheating on you."

Me: "What!!??" (Now the look of abject horror had exchanged faces)

China Mom: "Only a fool wears a green hat in China. Take it off!" (That was true...I had never seen a green hat before in China...but when do you ever see them really?)

Me: "I don't understand..." as I removed the hat.

China Mom: "Ancient Chinese custom - if a man wears a green hat his girlfriend gave him, it means she is cheating on him and doesn't love him. A Chinese man will never wear a green hat - it is the most embarrassing thing a man can do."

So there you go. Two worlds collide, cultures clash, with a green hat in the middle. I did some research, and only one type of man will ever wear a green hat in China.

A pimp.

Oops...

The Controversial Green Hat - Halloween 2010

The Cutest Kids in the World....

...are from Korea.

I feel qualified to say this because I have seen kids from all over the world for the past 33 years, and it wasn't until a visit to Seoul this year that I felt certain that I had found the cutest kids.

Why? Two reasons:

1) I saw this particular group of children at a Korean amusement park in February, so they were all super, little kid excited, but they were hampered by 8 layers of clothing. Its was funny and cute to see these opposing forces (excitement vs. clothing) face off.

2) They bow like nobodies business. Korean culture requires a bow with a hello, yet these little kids were about 4 or 5 years old, so they were just learning the bow, and their bowing skills were all over the board. Watch the end of the video, one little kid holds his bow for well over 8 seconds. He has some work to do....

Only in America #34

I was wandering around Wal-Mart today...amazed by the sheer quantity and choice offered by each aisle, stunned by how different this American retail world compare to the simple stores I was shopping at for the past two years in China. Not only were there so many more choices, but I knew exactly what each item was for. I remember buying oil my first week in China, cooking with it and immediately after taking the first bite of chicken, having my entire mouth go numb. I freaked out, threw the oil away and stopped cooking for a while. It wasn't until I talked to my Chinese teacher and told her the story that she started laughing. Apparently in China they sell this cooking oil made from a plant that numbs the mouth...its very popular...yet I had no way of knowing what the product was because I couldn't and can't read Chinese.

So today, in Wal-Mart, I am enjoying my literacy, walking in a wide eyed daze around the aisles when all of a sudden I come across a product that literally made me stop, stare and do a half-laugh, half-choke sound.

Zoom View

Share

Email

Print

GE Wireless Decoy Security Camera

Model # 45238 Internet # 202040380

$19.77/EA-EachShips FREE with $249.00 Order

The best part about this product isn't that it doesn't work..but that they market the fact that it doesn't work! The box said something like, "Don't bother with expensive and time consuming security devices, use our decoy camera and rest assured your house is safe." What? What if the crooks are shopping at Wal-Mart...aren't they going to recognize this product? Maybe they carry one around with them, and when they get to a house with a security camera, hold it up and compare. "Alright, this one is fake. Let's clean out the house...."

Safety Scmafety

Growing up in the US, I have grown accustomed to the litigious nature of our culture. I mean turn on the TV and look at how many times lawyers and judges are prominently displayed as the main part of the plot. In fact, we have shows that are just about judges! Judge Judy, Judge Mathis and Judge Joe Brown take over the TV airwaves from 3 to 5 pm EST. My dad's favorite show is Law and Order, and my mom liked a show called Judging Amy, about a woman who works as a judge. Its because of this cultural indoctrination that living in China really opened my eyes to how "safe" and "lawsuit" proof many enterprises in the US operate.

For example, construction sites in the US are heavily guarded, almost like an Army base or the secret formula to Coke, with signage everywhere guiding the wayward pedestrian towards the safest, re: least likely to get injured or maimed and sue the sh** out of our company, path. If they left construction sites unprotected, would people really be dumb enough to wander right.....I stopped myself in mid sentence because I know the answer....of course they would. Heck, if I saw a giant crane in a mud crater lifting blocks I would want to take a closer look.

Juxtapose this with China. Either they trust their people more in China (doubtful, since they don't even let people in China change their Facebook status lest a revolution ensues...) or they just don't care (ie. go ahead and try and sue the Chinese government, good luck, we will decide how much you get, not some overpriced lawyer with a yacht to pay for...)

With that being the case, I shouldn't have been surprised by my close encounters with construction sites in China....check it out...

What's in a name

OK -

First of all, I am going to be retroactively updating my blog over the next several months. I've got a lot of interesting stories and pictures to post, but because of the great firewall of China, it was very difficult for me to get stuff on here during the year. This means I have had some time to think about the stories I can write about and to come up with funnier versions which skirt reality while maintaining the essence of the experience. The updates should be frequent, so to my loyal followers(Mom), check back every couple days and the stories should begin trickling in.

I am going to start with an easy one...don't want to strain my cerebellum on the first day back to blogging.

Names are very important. For example, my aunt is babysitting a child right now named, and I kid you not, Angus Doodle. Angus Doodle.....the poor child is five, and has no idea what his future holds, but I can pretty much predict with a name like Angus Doodle his future isn't very bright. American parents with the last name of Doodle probably should be even more careful than most parents when choosing baby names. Did the mother decide the name while the epidural was still in effect? Did they sound that name out a few times?

That brings me to the point of this post. While in Korea, I ran across two different coffee shops that were only a few streets apart, both with names that might not resonate with the Korea population, but if owners in the US gave the same names, they would be guilty of gross negligence. Check it out....