The Green Hat

It all began innocuously enough. As I left my apartment to go to school on St. Patrick's Day this year, I suddenly remembered a green hat I owned that would top off my all green outfit. I passed the closet that contained the hat, quickly reached in, grabbed it and threw it on top of my head with little thought. Little did I know that the green hat was about to teach me a lot about Chinese culture.

As the school day went on, I noticed that the Chinese staff at my school were constantly staring at me, smiling, and then going back to work. I was self conscious, and did all the appropriate checks (zipper check, booger check, etc.) but they all came up empty. I then just figured it must be my all green outfit...they weren't used to seeing me dressed so...strangely. Finally, however, the mystery was solved. During the last section of the day, when I had a planning period, one of the Chinese staff, the one I affectionately referred to as my "Chinese Mom", came running into my classroom. She was very concerned:

China Mom: "Adam, you can't wear that hat!"

Me: "Its OK...its a holiday in America, everyone wears green."

China Mom: "Take the hat off!" (She is visibly upset...she reaches for the hat, I pull back.)

Me: "I like the hat. What's wrong with it?"

China Mom: "Everyone(Chinese Staff) is laughing at you. Its bad to wear it."

Me: "Why?"

China Mom: "Who gave it to you?"

Me: "My girlfriend bought it for me."

China Mom: (A look of abject horror on her face) "That's really bad." "Your girlfriend...she is cheating on you."

Me: "What!!??" (Now the look of abject horror had exchanged faces)

China Mom: "Only a fool wears a green hat in China. Take it off!" (That was true...I had never seen a green hat before in China...but when do you ever see them really?)

Me: "I don't understand..." as I removed the hat.

China Mom: "Ancient Chinese custom - if a man wears a green hat his girlfriend gave him, it means she is cheating on him and doesn't love him. A Chinese man will never wear a green hat - it is the most embarrassing thing a man can do."

So there you go. Two worlds collide, cultures clash, with a green hat in the middle. I did some research, and only one type of man will ever wear a green hat in China.

A pimp.

Oops...

The Controversial Green Hat - Halloween 2010